


Ships in the Night

by Neverever



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Break Up, Canon Related, Career Change, Established Relationship, F/F, M/M, Moving On, POV Outsider, Secrets, Steve/Tony endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28080636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever
Summary: Bernie Rosenthal is in love with New York and Steve Rogers, who is Captain America. Everything is wonderful -- she is working in a co-op gallery, has a great boyfriend and is thinking about law school.She doesn't know much about his past superhero life or the relationships he left behind to restart his life in Brooklyn. Finding Tony Stark fresh out of rehab in Steve's apartment throws a wrench into Bernie's life that she wasn't expecting. Now she finds that Steve does have secrets of his own that she had not suspected. What that means for her, she has no idea and what she thought was solid, isn't.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bernie Rosenthal, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 10
Kudos: 70
Collections: Marvel Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Marvel Bang. Story is informed by canon comics events, but is not canon compliant.
> 
> Shinysylver has been absolutely fantastic to work with -- thank you so much for believing in my story and your support.
> 
> And very big thanks for my betas. Sheron really helped with brainstorming, gave great advice about the story and gave great pointers about writing. As usual, Arms_plutonic helped with everything, putting up with my terrible spelling and poked me hard when I needed it (you were right about the opening scene).

“Is this the last box?” Steve asked as he tore the packing tape off the roll and sealed the box shut with a satisfying squeak.

Bernie grinned at him. “Yes, according to my list.” She doubled checked the shipping list on her phone.

The kitchen table was covered in boxes for Bernie’s Etsy sales, labeled with Steve’s neat handwriting and Bernie’s ‘careful handling’ stamps. If it wasn’t for the internet, Bernie and her friends’ co-op store would have gone out of business the first year.

All the windows were open, letting in the hot August city breeze. Bernie pushed her hair back. Everything was hot and sticky in Steve’s third floor flat. But she was hanging out with her boyfriend, who had bright gold hair and sky-blue eyes and was smiling at her like she had hung the moon.

Damn, Steve was the best.

“Can you pick up more packing supplies -- the store is right near your gym.”

Steve shook his head. “I’m not going to that gym any more.”

“What happened?”

“I, um, broke their Precor treadmill.”

“That’s the third one!”

“I need to find another place to work out.” Steve checked a preheated oven and then opened the refrigerator, pulling out a covered tray and a bag. “I’m going to a back-up place for a couple of weeks.”

“That’s sounds rough, Steve. You liked that place.” She walked over to the counter to watch him carefully peel off plastic wrap off a lasagna and consult a handwritten page of instructions. “I’m sure that you’ll find another gym you’ll like, maybe even more.”

Steve had a great apartment, set up like a studio with a large room but with a separate bedroom and bathroom. The neat kitchen in one corner, his oakwood drafting table and art supplies in the other, and the rest of the room filled with a soft brown leather couch, arm chairs you could sink in, overflowing bookcases and a humongous television. One side of the room had a corner with curved windows arching over the the corner, just like a greenhouse, just perfect for Steve to jump through when he had Captain America business.

Steve slid the lasagna into the oven. “Do you want to catch a movie next Wednesday?”

“No can do. I’ve got an LSAT class that night.” She gathered up forks, knives and plates to set the table.

“LSAT class?”

Bernie shrugged. “Jackie asked if I’d take the test with her, so I gotta study. I thought why not try and see how I do. Maybe apply if the scores are good. Law school might be a good option if the store keeps doing badly.”

Steve sat down next to her at the table. She ran her foot up Steve’s leg. She was rewarded with a slight blush. “Did you pick up the lasagna from that place around the corner -- that new Italian place we went to with Josh?”

“No, Jarvis sent it over. He always makes an excellent lasagna.”

Bernie looked quizzically at Steve. “Jarvis?”

“He worries,” Steve offered cryptically. “He saw me using the gym and sent over dinner --”

“Wait.” She connected a few dots. “You went to the Avengers Mansion?”

Steve tipped his head and forth and twisted up his face. Then he confessed, “It’s the back-up plan. Manhattan and 5th avenue is a long way to go for a workout but until I find a local place --”

“Are you sure about that?”

He sighed heavily. “I wasn’t happy to go back. Not right now. Only for a couple weeks …”

She picked up and pointed her fork at him. “You’d save time and money if you just opened your own gym.”

“Right.”

“You’d need to make a lot of money to keep up with your Precor-destroying habits.”

Her heart melted whenever Steve laughed and smiled like that. It was the shine in his eyes, that had to be the reason. And it was amazing lasagna.

~~~~~

Two years ago, Bernie had arrived in New York, fleeing a bad marriage and an uncertain future as an art teacher. She’d always dreamed of living in the City and all the excitement and all the things and places to see. She had made a bit of splash as a glass artist, even had a couple of well-attended gallery shows, and opened a co-op store with a bunch of artist friends. And it kept getting better when she had scored a spot in a shared apartment in a Park Slope brownstone.

Steve was just the icing on the cake. He was perfect -- a freelance artist dating the glass blower. Just what she had hoped for when she got to New York.

They had met after she moved in. Her apartment building was filled with people her age, all the apartments filled with roommates and apartment share, so she met and went places with everyone except the guy who lived in the studio on the third floor. She had heard more about Steve -- tall, blond, constantly busy -- than she saw him in the few weeks before she met him.

Bernie was intrigued because at heart she was a curious person and Steve was the sort of person who seemed to get invited along on bar crawls and to movie nights. He rarely showed, her neighbor Josh explained, always having an excuse. But he was a really great guy, everyone swore.

Sure he was, Bernie thought skeptically, because he seemed strange. Until she bumped into Steve unexpectedly at Josh’s one night. It took a while for the first date, but after that it was all smooth sailing.

Another Etsy shipment day and Bernie brought boxes up to Steve’s apartment. She knew it would have been easier to wrap packages up in her apartment but she had room to work in Steve’s place with no roommates underfoot. “Hiya,” she said, planting a kiss on his neck. “Ready to help with the shipment?”

“Sure, after I fix this.” Steve was at his drafting table.

“What are you working on?” she asked, looking over his broad shoulder at the pen and ink sketches.

“Something for that class I’m taking --”

His phone rang. Quickly fishing it out of one of the bins on a side table, he said, “Steve Rogers.”

Bernie went back to her boxes, amused at Steve and his cell phone. He knew how to use one, clearly, but he always left it hanging around odd places.

“Jan! Good to hear from you.” Pause. “Working as a freelancer. Not much different than what I was doing a while back. You?”

Ever since Bernie discovered that Steve was in fact Captain America, not just the shy, hot artist guy who lived upstairs from her, she had caught glimpses of the New York superhero community. No one except for the Fantastic Four were public with their identities, but Bernie could make a lot of guesses at people Steve casually knew. Like Steve’s best friend Sam who visited them a couple of months ago -- she thought he was the Falcon. But Steve wouldn’t confirm.

Jan was probably a superhero of some sort.

“That’s great. I saw you in the news last week with the fashion spread.” Pause. “That’s good about Hank.” Pause. “No, I haven’t heard anything -- he’ll call when he’s out. I hope. You might know sooner than me.” Pause. “Ha. Jarvis told on me. It’s just for a short time until I find another gym.”

Bernie smirked at the mention of Jarvis. Jan had something to do with the Avengers. Maybe was an Avenger herself. Steve was letting his guard down around Bernie and she approved of that. He could get really closed off at times.

“Lunch? Sure. When? My schedule is clear. That sounds great. Looking forward to it.”

“Who was that?” Bernie asked when Steve joined her for wrapping up packages.

“An old friend,” he said. “What’s first?”

Bernie had learned not to push Steve about his other life. He told her the basics when she told him that she knew his secret. He’d left the Avengers to start over, living as a civilian, after his girlfriend was killed on the job. That’s all he ever said about his superhero life. Like there was a before-and-after point and he didn’t talk about the before. Even though he still did the Captain America thing every now and then.

That was fine with her. She didn’t like talking about her past in Wisconsin either.

Bernie couldn’t help but wonder about that mysterious Jan. Steve did mention a clever friend named Tony a couple of times with a lot of fondness; Bernie guessed he was referring to the famous Tony Stark. But Bernie hadn’t heard about Jan before.

By this point, Bernie was practically spending all her time at Steve’s, glad to escape her three roommates and relax on Steve’s huge couch. She stayed overnight when Steve wasn’t out patrolling. Maybe she should think about moving in, but the idea hadn’t come up yet.

“How was class?” he asked her.

“LSAT prep class isn’t all that exciting, Steve,” she replied with a laugh. “It’s kind of intense actually.” She settled into her spot on the couch next to Steve.

He was watching a baseball game, which she tolerated. Steve was into baseball, she liked wrestling and a little bit of football and that was that.

She added, “I’m taking the test in October.”

“Sounds like law school for you.”

“Yeah, well, maybe. I’ve been looking at places, Empire State seems to be a good option. You know, I wanted to be a glass artist, not running the store.”

“Hmmm,” Steve replied. His eyes were on the screen.

“I’m putting in the most hours, doing the record keeping, and the accounting. The rest of the team helps out every now and then --”

Steve went quiet for a few minutes as a Dodger connected with the ball. “Come on, come on,” he muttered as a Mets outfielder caught the ball too late. He settled back into the couch. “You can’t work on the art.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly right, that’s the problem. I should put my foot down -- I haven’t been in the studio for two days and I’m already feeling rusty. How was your day?” Bernie pulled out her laptop.

“Interviewed for a job. Not sure I’ll get it. Had lunch with a friend.”

“Jan? From the other day?”

Steve turned unreadable. “Yeah.”

Bernie waited for Steve to tell her about the lunch. A few minutes passed in awkward silence. Finally she changed the subject. “Who’s playing and does this game matter?”

“It’s the Mets, it’s early September, and I wish it did,” Steve said.

~~~~

Bernie let herself into Steve’s apartment, her refuge from her busy apartment and roommates. She had business accounts to work through. The point of being an artist was to get away from the business side of things, but Bernie had proven to be much, much better than her partners at it. But she also a ton of studying to do for prep class and a seemingly endless list of law schools to investigate. Even thinking about all she had to do exhausted her, and she had no idea how she was going to everything she wanted. Something had to give.

Steve wouldn’t be back until dinner. Distracted by thinking about law schools, Bernie put her laptop down on the table and went to the refrigerator to grab a drink, when she heard a soft cough behind her. She whirled around to see a man on the couch.

He unfolded his tall body as he stood up. She noted the fashionable tan suit, shirt open at the neck, black hair tousled in a stylish way, and piercing blue eyes. He moved slowly, as if he were a fragile paper doll, not flesh and blood. “This is a surprise,” he said. “Tony Stark.” He offered his hand.

Shocked, Bernie shook his hand. Tony Stark the famous billionaire, owner of Stark Industries, focus of both gossip and business news, and benefactor of the Avengers, was standing in Steve’s apartment like he belonged there. Last heard she had of him had been that he was on a long vacation somewhere. “Um, Bernie Rosenthal.”

“Steve’s girlfriend? He said you might drop in.”

“Funny. He didn’t say anything to me about you.” Once she got over the shock of meeting a celebrity, everything about Tony put her teeth on edge, even his obvious attempts at charm.

“I’m only going to be here for an hour, in between meetings. I won’t be in your way,” he said, with what other people would consider charm.

Bernie looked over at the couch covered with paper and the most sophisticated laptop she had ever seen. She arched an eyebrow. “Really?” Then she bit her tongue. It had to be the exhaustion talking, she wasn’t that rude to Steve’s friends.

“I’m a fast reader,” he said, adding a wry smile. The smile brightened his tired face.

Good thing he was taking her comment as referring to his own pile of work. Bernie resolved to be nicer about having someone, especially a famous celebrity, interrupt her plans. “Right. Well, I’m going to sit here at the table. I’m leaving the couch to you.” She flashed a quick smile to be friendly.

She took off her cardigan and draped it over a chair. Then she sat at the table so that she could keep a watchful eye on Tony. Who was admittedly a very nice looking man. By now, Tony had sat down on the couch again with his sheaf of papers. He certainly was a presence, larger than life, demanding attention even when sipping coffee from one of Steve’s Captain America mugs.

Well, if Tony was working and not paying attention to her, then she could easily work too. She pulled up the University of Wisconsin Madison webpage. After staring at the screen for an eternity, she looked over at Tony reading. “Does Steve know you’re here?”

“It was his suggestion,” Tony replied after taking a swig of coffee.

“Okay.” Made sense, Steve was always generous with friends.

She could do this, do her work, and get it all over with. It didn't have to be weird. But she snuck a glance or two or more at Tony calmly writing notes.

After an eternity, he packed up his papers and laptop. He smiled at her as he went to put his mug in the sink. “Be seeing you around,” Tony said.

“Sure,” Bernie replied, aiming for an indifference she didn’t feel at all. She didn’t look up at all until Tony firmly shut the door behind him.

~~~~~

When Steve came home laden with takeout and his art portfolio, the real one, not the one with the shield, she said, “Tony was here this afternoon.”

“Great, I didn’t think he’d take me up on the offer.”

Bernie helped set out the dishes and unbox the Thai food. “Next time give a girl a warning.”

Steve stopped what he was doing and nodded. “Okay. You’re right. I should have mentioned that he might be using my place in between meetings. Tony just needed a place that wouldn’t be a temptation.”

“Okay, big guy.”

“Tony’s been a real solid friend to me for years -- I wanted to repay him.”

“I think you mentioned knowing him before,” she replied with a chuckle. “He’s famous, right? The guy who funded the Avengers?”

“That’s Tony, alright.”

“I need to point out that I was surprised and shocked to find one of the biggest celebrities in the world in your third floor walk-up. I can’t tell you how unreal the entire experience was.”

“Tony is -- was a big part of my life.” Steve smiled big and warm when he mentioned Tony. “I haven’t seen him for a while. I saw him at the Mansion last week and we had lunch.”

“The Mansion? I thought you had found a new gym?”

“Didn’t work out,” Steve replied with a shrug. “I’m working on finding one. The gym at the Mansion is still the next best option.”

“Steve, I really hope you haven’t been black-balled by all the gyms in Brooklyn.”

~~~~~

“He was just sitting there,” Bernie complained to her roommate. “Again. Like last week.”

Taylor fixed her hair for the third time, not looking away from the mirror. “What’s wrong with that? I don’t get it.”

Bernie was stretched out on the couch, wiped from a boring shift at the store. Her roommate, Taylor, an event planner, was dressed up to the nines, waiting for the car service to pick her up for the charity auction she was working at that night.

“Tony is one of Steve’s friends and … I don’t know. Steve didn’t tell me he was going to be in the apartment the first time.”

Taylor tapped her fingers on her phone. “Steve should have told you about Tony being in the apartment. Sure. Because you hang out there more than the place where you pay rent. But you seem more annoyed that _Tony_ was in the apartment.”

“Twice. He’s been there twice.”

“He didn’t say anything to you except hello and did his own thing for an hour and left. I’ve dealt with worse celebrities and regular people.”

Bernie threw her hand up as she struggled to find words for her thoughts. “He just rubbed me the wrong way. The way Steve talks about him -- I just was expecting someone different. Less whatever that was.”

Taylor checked her phone. “Ugh, the car’s late. Why does this bother you so much -- do you think you might be a tiny bit threatened by Tony? That’s the real question.”

She immediately swung her feet off the couch and sat up. “There’s no way on earth that I’m threatened by Steve’s friend. A person can dislike their SO’s friends at any time for any reason.”

“Sure. Maybe. But the way you’ve been talking about Tony since you met him …. I don’t know, Bernie, but it’s like how some people talk about their SO’s exes. You’re usually not like that. So maybe think about it.”

“Steve never dated Tony,” Bernie replied firmly. “Steve’s never shown any interest in guys that way.”

“Hmmm. That’s really a Steve and you conversation. Hey -- why don’t you, Tony and Steve hang out sometime? Get to know the guy.” Taylor got up. “Don’t wait up -- these charity auction things can last all hours of the night.”

~~~~~

One of the best things about New York was spotting celebrities out in the wild, just like regular people. Bernie knew darn well who Tony Stark was. Sitting in a gastropub in Tribeca with the famous Tony Stark was a surreal experience.

“At least, they’re not asking for autographs,” Tony said when he caught Bernie noticing the people noticing Tony. “There’s a few actors over there they’ll bother instead.”

Bernie hadn’t been to this restaurant before, since she and Steve generally didn’t venture beyond Brooklyn. Tony had suggested this place, a sort of compromise between what he liked and what Steve liked, as Steve explained on the ride over to the restaurant. Steve had been surprised to see Tony already seated at a table when they arrived. He didn’t explain his surprise, though Bernie had already decided Tony was a person who showed up late.

“How’s the gallery doing?” Tony asked as he sipped his water with lemon.

“We’re doing okay, though we get better sales on Etsy,” Bernie said. Talking about work was always safe small talk.

“Have you thought about hiring a marketing company? Something like that to boost your sales. You’ve probably already thought about that.”

“Tony,” Steve said with a big grin, “Bernie doesn’t need business advice.”

“Maybe I do, especially advice from a billionaire inventor,” she replied, giving Steve a playful poke.

“Steve isn’t keen on business talk,” Tony replied with a nod towards Steve. “I can turn any lunch into a business meeting given the right motivation. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Bernie thought about it. Tony appeared to be comfortable talking about business and business was a good, safe subject for lunch conversation. “Hmmm, I’ve thought about a lot -- maybe more marketing would be good. There are a lot of artists and galleries in New York and we don’t stand out. I could use some good advice.”

She had to admit that Tony wasn’t half bad once she got to know him, and she hadn’t expected the five-year business plan Tony cooked up for her while they waited for their food. Steve relaxed after the appetizers, smiling and nodding like he was having a good time. Tony seemed to perk up, too, as the dinner went on. Even so, Bernie could sense that they were talking around stories and other business as Tony strained to keep his conversation light and not leave Bernie out.

When she returned from the restroom, she saw Tony and Steve were laughing over something. Steve said, “That SHIELD guy --”

“I know,” Tony replied, gasping through his laughs.

She stopped, watching how lost in their own little world they were. Tony had his arm folded on the table while Steve leaned forward in his seat. Not at all like the fragile man she had first met, Tony filled the space around him, but only paid attention to Steve.

“What’s the joke, guys?” she said, breaking into the spell.

“Old one,” Steve replied, not even looking up.

“Okay, any dessert left?”

After they left the restaurant, they waited outside for Tony’s car service. Tony had insisted on it when Steve asked Bernie about the subway. Bernie was checking her phone, not paying attention to whatever Steve and Tony were talking about.

“Do you miss it?” Tony asked, his voice dropping lower, immediately catching Bernie’s attention.

“I’d be wrong if I said I didn’t. Do you plan to go back?” Steve replied.

“Geez, it’s only been a few weeks since rehab. I don’t know. I’ve got a lot of bridge building ahead of me. Maybe. We had a lot of good times.”

“Did a lot of good too.”

“There’s the car,” Tony said, touching Bernie’s arm and pointing out the car on the other side of the street.

Steve was quiet and lost in thought on the ride back to Park Slope. “A penny for your thoughts?” Bernie teased. “That’s the going rate even in today’s money.”

“Sorry, just thinking about Tony. He’s been through so much and he’s been a good friend to me.”

“You think that’s changed?”

“Not that ... it’s just nice to see the old Tony.” The corner of Steve’s mouth quirked up. “It’s been awhile.”

“Addiction can change people.”

“He was -- is an alcoholic,” Steve said firmly. “His publicists kept the worst of it out of the papers but it’s been hard on him, the alcoholism and all the stuff he has to fix because of it. Maybe harder now because he’s out of rehab now.”

“Right.”

Steve fell silent again, reluctant to talk more, and Bernie looked out the window at the streets outside. She glanced back at Steve, who seemed as far away as the moon.

~~~~~

“You know, law school is a real commitment,” Bernie said.

“Uh-huh,” Steve replied, distracted. They were watching the news and Steve had replayed his DVR recording of the Avengers fight with Wrecking Crew five times over, his frown growing deeper on his face each time.

“Based on the information I’ve found, I know I can get into Empire State law school. The admissions aren’t as selective as more competitive schools. Still going to depend on how well I do on the LSATs. Steve?”

Steve had gotten up from the couch to get his cell phone sitting on his drafting table. His finger paused over the screen, then he walked back to the couch. He put the phone back on the table.

“Steve?”

“Nothing.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Law School. LSATs. Empire State?”

She could never exactly tell if Steve was paying attention or not. His mind caught all sorts of tiny details and he could readily respond to anything that happened at any time. “Right. Okay. I need the best LSAT score I can get to have more choices in where to go. But it’s not like I need to get into Harvard because, hoo boy, my college grades were not _that_ great.”

Steve rubbed his chin, tapped his fingers on his thigh, and replayed the recording again.

“You know, you’ve rewatched this recording a lot already. It’s not going to change.”

“That’s -- that’s not the reason I’m watching. Look at that guy -- the guy in blue over there -- he’s not getting into position fast enough to help the team. I can’t tell what’s stopping him --”

“Sounds like that’s an Avengers problem, not a you problem.”

Steve reached for the phone, then leaned back. “I should just let it go. But it’s not the first time I’ve seen it. He’s going to have problems if he doesn’t work on his awareness.”

Bernie nudged him. “It’s okay, Steve. Someone will deal with it, I’m sure.” She nabbed the controller and went channel surfing. “There’s got to be something on. Look, Lord of the Rings -- uh, Fellowship of the Ring. Have you seen it?”

They watched a few minutes, then Steve grabbed his phone. “Vance? Vance Astrovik? This is Steve Rogers.”

Bernie could hear a shocked scream from the phone.

“Yes, Captain America, son.”

Hearing Steve use the Captain America voice when he wasn’t in uniform made her sit up. She felt like she was sitting next to a completely different person.

“You might have heard that I’ve been working out at the Mansion. Just temporarily. I was wondering if you would be interested in a training session when I’m there next.”

More excited shouting from the phone.

“Is next Tuesday afternoon a possibility? Good. I’ll see you then. Thank you -- we have to look out for each other and training is always a good idea.” Steve ended the call and tossed the phone on the coffee table. He turned to Bernie. “It’ll be good for the kid. A few pointers and work on some tactics, he’ll be good to go.”

Bernie frowned. “Are you okay with that? I though you weren’t doing that anymore.”

“I’d be more annoyed if Justice flattened himself against a wall during a serious fight and I didn’t say anything.”

“Just this once.”

“Just this once,” Steve agreed. “I was serious about leaving the Avengers behind. Still am.”

~~~~~

Now that Bernie had signed up for the October LSATs, she spent all her time studying in Steve’s apartment. She breezed in one day, knowing that she’d have the place to herself. She set her books and laptop down in the living room and went to make coffee in the kitchen. Where she found a fancy coffee maker and an expensive brand of coffee beans that Steve would never drink on his own.

Had to be Tony.

Later, Steve returned from his morning of pitching to clients and a job interview, carrying Thai takeout with Tony following behind. “How’s it going?” Steve said.

She bit her tongue before saying "it" would be better if Tony wasn’t there. “Got to put a lot of work in.”

“The LSATs are no joke,” Tony added. “According to a lot of the lawyers I know.”

“I just need to get through this, then see what I get.”

She went to unpack the takeout, and it turned out that Steve had brought her lunch at the place he’d gone to with Tony. It was her favorite Pad Thai. But, still, she had been free for lunch.

Steve and Tony were sitting in the alcove, talking about baseball. Lunch in hand, Bernie sat down next to Steve.

“If you want to go to a game, let me know,” Tony offered.

“I don’t know --”

“You can root against the Yankees.”

“Just remember we have that hiking trip in the White Mountains,” Bernie said.

Tony smiled broadly. “Sounds like a fun idea.”

“Hiking trip,” Steve nodded. He shot her a funny look.

“I was just making the reservations this morning. A bed-n-breakfast place, romantic, all that.” She leaned into Steve.

“It’s hard to get reservations during leaf peeping season,” Tony said. “If you need anything …”

“You know Steve, we don’t need anything fancy, just a roof over our head, sheets on the bed, a good trail.”

Tony had an odd sort of look on his face, like he disagreed with the idea that Steve didn’t need anything fancy. But Bernie was winning and that’s all she cared about.

“It’ll be a nice treat for me after taking my exam,” she added.

Steve never said anything about the surprise hiking trip except to make sure that Bernie actually had the right equipment for the trip. In the end, Bernie had to ask Taylor for help in finding a place when she panicked, seeing every suitable B&B had been booked up. Taylor called in a favor and Bernie scored a fairly decent place in North Conway that looked like it was cleaned regularly.

~~~~~

“You’ve never gone on a hike before?” Steve asked

They were standing on an easy trail near Mount Washington. Steve had packed well and was prepared for a ten-mile hike on a harder trail. Except that Bernie had slept in and they got a late start.

Traffic was awful because of all the leaf-peepers, and they got lunch at a restaurant outside of North Conway. So they hit a different trail in the early afternoon with the crowd.

“I have. Just not since college,” she admitted. “We’ve got time -- this is the one-hour hike, right?”

She squeezed Steve’s hand, looked up at him, and kissed his nose. He laughed. “A ten-mile hike is not an hour,” he pointed out.

She laughed back at him. “I know _that_. This is this other hike, the shorter one.”

“Yes. I can do the other one another day.” Steve checked his trail map.

“Okay, we’ll do this and then we’ll get dinner at the brewery you saw last night.”

They couldn’t have had a more perfect day as they walked through the woods filled with brilliant orange, red and yellow leaves. They lingered at dinner over glasses of wine after a fantastic meal.

The next day she talked Steve out of hiking and instead they wandered through North Conway, stopping to look at the stores and a gallery of New Hampshire crafts.

“We should do this more often,” Bernie said that night. She was leaning against Steve and watching the flames flicker in the gas fireplace.

“Avoiding hiking?”

“No, just you and me things. We haven’t talked about work once since we got here. You’re a hell of a lot of fun, Mr. Rogers, when you’re not focused all on work.”

“So are you, Ms. Rosenthal,” Steve joked back.

“Be better if I were Mrs. Rogers,” Bernie said.

“We can talk about that --”

Bernie shifted away from Steve to sit up on the couch. “Let’s talk now.”

“About --?”

“Getting married. I’ve suggested moving in and you’re not comfortable with that idea at all, old man, even if I’m in your apartment all the time now. Why not get married?”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“Will you marry me, Steve?” Bernie asked.

“Are -- are you asking?”

She smiled. “I’m dead serious, Steve. Will you marry me?”

Steve nodded. “Sure. Let’s get married.”


	2. Chapter 2

Bernie basked in the afterglow of their weekend in New Hampshire. It finally felt like everything was coming together for her.

“Law school is the best option. My LSATs were great. Empire State’s my first choice,” she told Steve one late Sunday morning as they lazed about in his apartment. “I’m thinking -- if I have the opportunity, I want to get into human rights law, lots of opportunities in New York to do some really interesting work.”

“I think you want to marry me just to stay in New York.”

“Ha.” She swatted at him with a magazine from her end of the couch. “I’ve got to get serious about applying this week -- line up references, do essays, the whole nine yards.”

Steve looked at her over the edge of his sketchbook from his end.

“Need me to pose?” she asked flirtatiously.

“No, just keep sitting there.”

“So what’s your week like?”

“I’m checking out a couple of gyms. I need to make a break again -- I’ve been asked to do more training for the Avengers, and it’s starting to pull me in again.”

“That’s not what you wanted.”

“No. But the Mansion’s gym has all the equipment and weights I need. It’s been hard to find a replacement.”

“We have Thanksgiving coming up, so no plans for that day.” Bernie and her roommates were planning a huge Thanksgiving Day party, turkey, tofurkey and all the trimmings.

“Right, I’m supposed to lug in the groceries.”

“And the twenty-five pound frozen turkey, don’t forget that.”

~~~~~

Bernie tapped at the table as she pondered the options for flying back to Milwaukee for Hanukkah at the last minute. “The only fights available are connecting flights. Too many go through O’Hare and I don’t want to do that in December.” She didn’t get a response from Steve immediately. “Steve?”

“What?” He looked up from his sketching.

“I’m trying to book a flight home. I need your input on this.”

Steve got up and walked over to Bernie and her computer. She caught the baffled look on his face. “What’s wrong with O’Hare?” he asked.

“Chicago. December. We’ll spend the holiday in the airport.”

“Hmm.” Steve still had that baffled look.

“My god, you’ve never flown commercial, have you?” Bernie asked.

“I could call someone at SHIELD about a spot --”

“No. We’re buying tickets like normal people. See, we pick a time that might work or the best price or some combination of those. We should have got our tickets a couple of months ago for the best selection. Nancy will be back home for the first time in a few years and Jeannie -- it’s a really big deal for my mom to have my sisters and me under the same roof for a family holiday. You seriously don’t have an opinion on the flight?”

Steve looked at the screen. “It all looks the same to me.”

“Seriously, Steve, sometimes -- sometimes your life is kind of weird.”

He kissed her head and a few minutes later Steve made her forget that she had been looking for flights or anything else.

~~~~~

In the end, Steve never flew commercial. Tony offered him the use of his private jet, and Steve made a good case for taking it.

Bernie felt like a celebrity pulling up to the Teterboro Airport in a town car and breezing through the private terminal on the way to Green Bay. She was dazzled by the personal flight attendant and the comfy chairs in the cabin and having the cabin completely to themselves. Steve however seemed less impressed as he did his sketches for one of his jobs, the Marvel comics one.

“You’re way too used to this,” she teased, poking at him with her toe.

“It’s either this or the quinjet for missions.”

They picked up the rental car and drove to De Pere and her childhood home. Everyone was already there for the third night of Hanukkah. Bernie enjoyed introducing Steve to her parents, sisters, their boyfriends, cousins and other assorted relatives.

It was right, it felt right to say “Here’s Steve, my fiancé.”

Her dad smiled as he shook Steve’s hand. “Welcome to the family.”

The next day she took off with her mom and sisters for outlet shopping, leaving Steve behind to work. Large dinner of pizza and beer and soda as they swapped stories about New York and Jeannie’s new apartment and Nancy’s promotion. The day after, Bernie drove Steve around town to see the sights, such as they were. It was a whirlwind of food, family and parties.

Steve wasn’t out of place at all, sitting calmly among the confusion. He’d given out the usual patter of having served in the Army overseas and was now trying to make it on his own as a freelance artist. Bernie was encouraged when her dad suggested that he join the guys hunting before they returned to New York. Steve seriously considered it before bad weather shut the plans down.

Everyone else headed into the huge family room to watch the Packers play while Bernie and her mom cleaned up the kitchen. Although she liked football, Bernie hadn’t ever been into football as much as her sisters or dad. She peeked out at Steve sitting in the pile of Rosenthals, keenly watching the game. Her dad loved Steve, even if he might prefer the Giants.

“Going well?” her mom asked, handing Bernie a dishtowel. “We’ve talked about everything but what you’ve been doing with the store.”

“The store isn’t doing well. We have to decide in February about renewing the lease or not. Either way, I have to dissolve the partnership if I’m going to law school.” Bernie tackled the quickly growing pile of pots her mother had washed. “My LSAT scores were great and I’m working on all my applications -- I gotta get ‘em in by mid January. Then it’s a couple of months before I hear.”

“Where are you applying?”

“Lots of places -- the University of Wisconsin-Madison law school program is great. Michigan. Empire State Law School. It’s gonna be hard to get in. My undergrad grades weren’t the best.”

“You got your head turned around by Sammy.”

“Awww, Mom, that’s old news.”

“Does he know?”

“Steve? Yeah, he knows I’m applying and stuff. He helps when he can.”

“Hmmm.” Her mom put another couple of pans into the sink.

“Mom, you’ve used every pot and pan in the house today.”

“Because I’m not cooking tomorrow. Casseroles for now until you go. Any idea about wedding dates?”

“We’ve only been engaged since October. We’ll figure it out.”

“Or not,” her mom said pointedly.

“Mom, Sammy and I picked a date --”

“Because of graduation. Then you got married a month later. You didn’t let the grass grow under your feet then. It would be nice to have an announcement when your grandparents are here.”

“Maybe Steve and I will get married at City Hall. That works.”

“Steve strikes me as a man who would be happier with that than a production.”

Bernie stopped to look at her mother impassively scrubbing a pot. “You’ve thought about this. I bet you’ve already planned it all out.”

“No, all I’ve thought about is what makes you happy. Law school seems to make you happy. Running an art glass store, not so much.”

“Steve makes me happy,” Bernie stated.

“Does he now. You talked like that before, Bernie.” Her mom set the pot down. “I warned you then that you talked more about getting married to Sammy than being married to him. Then you wanted to move to New York more than anything. Other people are serious business, not playthings.”

“Are you seriously suggesting that I’m getting married to Steve because he’s a plaything?”

“Steve is Mr. Right Now, Bernie, that’s what I’m saying.”

“Not having a wedding date doesn’t prove anything.”

“Not telling Steve that you’ve applied to Madison does. He doesn’t really know what you’re doing about law school, does he?”

Bernie didn’t say anything but dried the pots and pans in silence. Her mom began to put away the dishes. There was a lot of shouting from the family room.

“It’s going to be fine, Mom. I’ll talk with Steve and we’ll figure it all out.”

~~~~~

The next morning they were having a lazy breakfast, Steve reading the paper, her mom talking to her aunt in the kitchen, her dad watching a sports show. Bernie read the news on her phone.

Despite her mother’s pointed comments, Bernie was on an even keel. They’d get back to New York in a couple of days and she’d talk with Steve about their plans. They should nail down a date at any rate before law school ate her brain.

Then a phone rang and rang. “Will someone get that?” her dad shouted from his recliner.

Steve walked over to his jacket he’d had left on one of the kitchen chairs after his early morning walk. He pulled out a phone Bernie had never seen before. “Yeah, Cap here.” He kept walking to the kitchen door and out to the deck.

Bernie followed. It had never occurred to her that Steve had two phones. He barely used his everyday one.

“I’m in De Pere, Wisconsin.” Pause. “Visiting people. Yes. What’s going on?” Pause. Steve was shifting into Captain America. “Right. Got it.” Pause. “I have access to a rented Ford Escape.” Pause. “I can meet the quinjet there.” He turned the phone off.

“Steve?”

“Got a call. Major breakout from the Negative Zone, all hands on deck. AIM experiment gone wrong outside St. Louis. I’ve got to go.”

She barely could follow Steve upstairs, he moved so quickly. He was pulling out that special art portfolio out of their room, the one he stored the shield in. She hadn’t been crazy about him bringing the shield along, but that was never up for debate.

“Isn’t the Negative Zone a Fantastic Four thing?”

“Usually. All I know is that Avengers are involved and they’re calling up all the reserve members. Can you drive me to the high school?”

Bernie grabbed her coat and keys and drove Steve to the high school football field where the quinjet was picking him up. Steve stayed on his secret phone from the time they left the house to when they arrived at the field. “I’ll call,” he said.

“Stay safe, Steve,” she replied.

Suddenly there was a quinjet hovering about them, sending down a rope pull for Steve. She watched whoever was in the jet pull Steve up into the jet.

By the time she returned home, her dad had the news on the television and her mother and aunt were watching as well.

“What’s going on?” she asked, sitting down on the couch.

Her dad explained, “Huge fight outside St. Louis. Avengers are there and superheroes arriving every minute. See, Iron Man, there.”

The reporter on scene announced, “Captain America has just arrived on scene.”

“Good thing you got Steve to the pick-up spot,” her dad said. “They’re going to need him on this one.”

“How did you know?” Bernie asked, shocked.

He chuckled. “I’m not blind, Bernie. I’ve been a big Captain America fan for a long time. You don’t think I added it up? Just like you did?”

Bernie turned to the television in time to see Iron Man deflect a unibeam off Captain America’s shield.

“The Avengers need to do more of that,” her dad said.

“They’re not a football team,” Bernie replied coolly.

“They’re what stands between us and the bad guys -- they need to be good or we suffer,” her dad replied. “They should get back the ‘A’ team.”

The battle was over in a couple of hours. She watched the reporting for any scrap of information about Steve. Although the press conference did confirm that he was fine. She couldn’t see any visible injuries as Steve calmly answered questions.

Except for the last one -- “Does this mean that you, Iron Man and other original Avengers will be returning to the team?”

Captain America frowned and replied, “We came out to help during a dangerous situation. All questions about the future of the Avengers need to be directed to them, not the reserve members.”

The headlines that night and the next day were all about that Captain America did not deny he was returning to the Avengers. So it didn’t matter what Steve actually said. Bernie was troubled by that.

Steve called a few hours later. “I’m staying in St. Louis for the wrap-up. SHIELD wants to interview everyone.”

“Okay. Someone going to drop you off here? Want me to meet you at the high school?”

Long pause on the other end of the phone. Steve finally answered, “Tony says you can use the jet anytime you want to come home. I have to go back to New York after I’m done here.”

“What about your stuff?”

“If you could pack it up and bring it with you back home, that would be great.”

She drew a deep breath to tamp down her rising anger at Steve not returning. “Steve, you’re not coming back?” she said as measuredly as she could.

“Bernie -- I’m involved in debriefing today and the Fantastic Four want a meeting tomorrow. By the time I’d get back to De Pere, we’d have to leave for New York.

She could hear a lot of shouting and cheering in the background. “There’s a party?”

“People blowing off steam.”

“So you won’t be able to get back here anytime soon?”

“Wait -- did you want to come back to New York with me?”

She bit her bottom lip. When she had decided to keep dating Steve after finding out he was Captain America, she knew that there would be days like this. She repeated over and over that she needed to be supportive.

“We can swing by to get you --”

Even though she wanted to scream, yes, come get me, she could tell that returning to De Pere was not his preferred course of action. Supportive Bernie replied, “No, Steve, that’s okay. I have some family plans tomorrow. I’ll see you in New York in a couple of days.” At least she kept most of the anger out of her voice, she hoped.

“Thanks for understanding, Bernie. It’s just the job, you know.”

“Love you, Steve.”

“Love you too, Bernie.”

As she hung up, Bernie promised herself that they would talk about this when they met up in New York and she wouldn’t let Steve derail the conversation. This couldn’t happen again.

~~~~~

“It’s called a sound bar, Sam,” Tony said as he flipped a tiny screwdriver back and forth between his fingers.

“I know that --” Sam grunted as he pushed the sound bar into place in the new shelf under the television.

“I would have gotten the whole 7-speaker sound set-up but someone thought it would be too loud for the neighbors.”

“This is great, Tony, thanks,” Steve said. He carefully lowered the television as Sam wriggled back from the stand.

“It would have been nice if you let him buy you a new stand, too,” Sam added.

Tony knelt down and went to work setting up the sound system he’d bought Steve as a combo Christmas present and late housewarming gift. Bernie had nowhere better to be, even if she didn’t like hanging around when Tony was visiting. She hadn’t been able to put her finger on it yet, why Tony bothered her. It was just a feeling that she liked being around Steve better when Tony wasn’t there.

She was at loose ends now that she’d finished up with her applications. And she was avoiding all the problems with the store in the meantime. “How about I order dinner?” she offered.

“Sounds good,” Sam agreed.

The other reason Bernie was hanging out was that Sam was staying with Steve for a few weeks until he got a job and an apartment. He’d moved back to New York after leaving graduate school. She’d met Sam before and had always liked him a lot. She’d been genuinely happy when Steve said Sam was moving back to the city. Although, Bernie felt weird staying overnight while Sam slept on the couch.

Tony stood up, brushing dust off his hands. “That should work now,” he said.

Steve pushed a few buttons on the controller. Nothing worked.

“Here, let me show you.” Tony walked over to Steve and fished the controller out of his hand. They stood close together as Tony showed Steve how to turn on his television and the sound bar. “I think you’ve got that down now.”

Bernie turned the ring on her left hand. Steve had given it to her at New Years, sheepishly explaining he owed her an engagement ring. No diamond, but a small cluster of sapphires. Perfect for her.

Sam looked up from his phone. “I’d like to try that Uptown BBQ place -- I haven’t had pulled pork since DC.”

“Does it have a chicken option?” Bernie asked.

“Wish I could join you guys, but I have a charity thing tonight,” Tony announced.

“Are you okay with that?” Steve asked, concern plainly on his face.

Tony hesitated for a minute.

“I could go if you want company,” Steve added.

Tony shifted to his back foot as he bit his lip. Before Bernie could interrupt, he said, “Nice offer, Steve. But I got to fly solo on this one. It’s time I tried.” Tony gave her a sidelong glance.

“We’ll have good food here if you decide to ditch the rabbit food,” Sam joked.

“Catch you all later,” Tony said with a wave after putting on his coat.

“We’re stuck with the boxes again,” Sam said as Steve broke down the boxes for the trash.

Steve replied, “He didn’t have to get me anything, so boxes aren’t a problem.”

“You could have said no,” Bernie said. She pointed to the brisket on the menu as Sam wrote down their orders.

Steve shook his head. “Tony’s an old friend. It wouldn’t be right to say no.”

“Bernie’s getting the brisket. What about you?”

“Brisket -- make that two orders of brisket for me. Extra cornbread and fries.”

Sam snorted. “I almost forgot how much you eat. You’ll just run it off in the morning.”

“Not running tomorrow -- I’m working out at the Mansion. Want to join me?”

Sam shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. Don’t need to go back to that place again.”

“There are gyms nearby, Steve. I don’t get why you haven’t found one yet --”

Steve straightened up a bit. “It’s complicated. I haven’t found the right place.”

“Have you looked? You could make do with a good-enough-for-now gym, until you find the right spot.”

“It’s complicated,” Steve replied. He set his jaw and narrowed his eyes.

“I think you haven’t --”

“Hey, I’m trying to order dinner here,” Sam interrupted. “Save it for the after-dinner entertainment.”

~~~~~

“No plans for Valentine’s?” Taylor asked. “I swear this is the longest time I’ve seen you in our apartment since the holidays.” She had just come back from a business trip to Miami.

“Steve and Sam went to Angel Falls to go base jumping,” Bernie explained. She was curled up in one of the armchairs in their shared living room. “We’ll do something when he gets back.”

“Venezuela, right? And you didn’t go?”

“I’m not into base jumping.”

“Yeah, but they could do their thing while you hang out by the pool or go shopping. I’d go anywhere to get out of this weather.”

Bernie glanced out the window. It was just an ordinary cold, cloudy February day in New York. “It’s not so bad.”

“Right.” Taylor sat down across from Bernie. “You went on a hiking trip with Steve when you don’t hike. This you turn down?”

Steve had asked her to come. He had said the exact same thing that Taylor said. We’re using a quinjet so you don’t have to pay for tickets, hotel is comped, hang out at the pool, hit up a museum or two before returning home. Lots of fun.

“I wasn’t interested,” Bernie answered truthfully. “Sam suggested it, Steve thought it was a great idea. I didn’t, so here I am.”

“Okay, your business, not mine.”

Bernie turned a page in her book. The whole trip felt like too much effort at the time Steve asked her along. “I had plans,” Bernie explained.

“Like I said your thing, your plans.”

“It’s not like I didn’t want to spend time with Steve. I spend plenty of time with Steve.”

Taylor nodded slowly. “Okay. Sure. I never said a thing about that. So that’s all you.”

“A friend has a gallery show tomorrow, and then I have my shift at the store and --”

“It’s okay, Bernie. You don’t have to explain yourself.”

The problem was that Bernie really needed to explain to someone why she said no to Steve. He’d been upset at the time. Maybe not so upset since he hadn’t called yet. He’d sent her a picture of him and Sam after a jump with a ‘wish you were here.’

Would be better if Steve were here, not there. But that’s the way it turned out.


	3. Chapter 3

“The wait to hear back from the places I applied to is killing me,” Bernie told Steve as she put her menu down.

Steve had suggested that they go out for a nice meal for once. He’d even called for reservations. He wore the navy shirt Bernie had given him. She couldn’t help but smile at how nice he looked.

“You’ll hear back next month?”

“You bet. But I’ve got to start making decisions.” She sighed. “No one wants to pull the trigger, but we have to give up the lease on the store. We did a lot better during the holidays than I projected so we’ve got a cushion. Once I get into law school, I won’t have time to do anything but maybe a shift or two. I’m assuming I’m going to Empire State in that case.”

“Have you told them that?” Steve offered her the basket of hot rolls the server put on the table.

“I pull out, the whole thing falls apart.” She paused to butter her roll. Then sat there with a roll and knife in hand as she got a few ideas. “You know, I’ll call a meeting and tell everyone we’ll give up the lease and close shop in May. Gives everyone a chance to make last minutes sales and line up other places to sell their stuff. I’ll put the trigger for the team.”

Steve smiled. “Being direct is the good way.”

“What’s your news, Steve? Since you invited me out.”

“Huh, I don’t --” Steve’s shoulders slumped a bit. “I didn’t get the job.”

“Wait -- you interviewed twice with that marketing company, they liked you, and then --”

Steve picked up his water glass and looked at it carefully. Then put it down. “The freelance career is not working out. I haven’t had a new job in over a month.”

Bernie said, “Maybe you just need a restart on the whole thing -- new marketing, different approach --”

“More returning assignments to clients on time,” Steve added acerbically.

“That’s a very good point. Maybe a little less Captain-ing, more freelancing?”

“I’ve been busier than expected on that front.” He looked out the window.

“You don’t really have to work, Steve, since you have the trust fund and all that.” Steve had long ago mentioned his complex finances, the money from the Avengers, the back pay from the government, all managed by a Stark Industries-associated banking firm. “Take it easy.”

He sighed. “That’s not in my nature.”

“You said you weren’t going back to the way it was before, this is just a rough patch. We all deal with them. You’ve got the cushion to get through this.”

Steve kept looking out the window, a slight frown now on his face. “If you go to law school, you can’t do the store.”

“If you want the life you’ve built here and with me, that’s all based on the freelancing. Unless you’d like to look for something permanent.”

“I have standing offers with any number of people, Bernie, for a job.” He shifted in his seat, still not looking at Bernie. “The Avengers asked again -- an active roster spot if I want it, or brought on as a trainer if that worked better for me.”

A chill ran down Bernie’s back. “That would mean more superhero work. Which you told me you didn’t want.”

“I need to be useful, I was built that way long before the -- you know. Maybe what I’m doing now isn’t for me.”

She reached across the table to take his hand. “Hey, what you’re doing right now involves me.”

He smiled wanly. “I wouldn’t give that up.”

“Good. You could go back to college. Think about it, you and me at Empire State.”

Steve opened his mouth and then closed it. He looked like he was about to say something, but couldn’t find the words. Finally, he said. “That’s an option.”

“I love New York,” Bernie said. “I’ve always wanted to be here. We’re having a lot of fun. It’s not like you have to have a job.”

“No, I do,” Steve replied. “I need something to feel useful at.”

“Hey, it’s dinner already,” Bernie said when she spotted the servers with a tray. “Let’s talk through the options.”

They didn’t of course. The food was too good, and Steve’s mood changed for the better and all was bright and wonderful as they walked back home through the cold March air hand-in-hand.

~~~~~

“Sorry I’m late,” Steve apologized as he walked into the apartment.

“You brought food, I can’t complain,” Bernie said.

Steve took the bags into the kitchen and Bernie followed. “Tony and I spent time longer at the car show than we expected. It was a lot of fun.”

“I’ll help put that out,” Bernie offered, unwrapping the cartons.

It was part of the usual ritual when she had dinner with Steve. Steve or she brought in takeout. She hadn’t let Steve cook for months if she could help it after discovering how bad he was at it. They put dinner on plates on the table, someone poured the drinks, and they sat down to talk about the day and other things.

Afterwards, they cleared off the dishes and Steve washed them in the sink. And Bernie always offered to dry them, like she wasn’t part of the clean-up team.

It was silly and Steve usually laughed when he tossed her the dish towel. But it was their thing.

“It’s a lot of dishes,” Bernie said. “We’ll be here for a while.”

“Had to hand in a job,” he explained why he hadn’t cleaned up the breakfast or lunch dishes.

Steve filled the sink with hot water. Bernie gave him a hip check.

“I’ll have to take a pass on dinner tomorrow -- I’m meeting Tony and some, uh, friends, in the afternoon,” he said.

“Oh,” she replied. She set down a dish harder to mask her voice breaking.

“Yeah, I am surprised too. That Tony and I are spending more time together.” He held a plate in his hand. “It was rough at first, with him out of rehab and wanting to rebuild friendships. Now it’s like I have my old best friend back.” Steve smiled. “Things didn’t end on good terms before he went to rehab.” He briskly washed the dish with the sponge and handed it over to her. “My dad was an alcoholic; I knew better.”

“Your dad? Is that why you don’t talk about him?”

“He died when I was four. I don’t remember much about him, except his laugh and that he read the paper in the morning at the table with a cup of coffee. The cup was blue.” Steve frowned. “I can see him there at the table telling my ma about something and they both laughed. My ma told me it wasn’t often that he laughed in that last year.”

“Steve --”

He waved off her concern. “My ma didn’t talk about it. They found him in a gutter outside a bar. I went to the funeral, the pews were full, he had a lot of friends. My ma kept the mass card in her bible. I knew better -- Tony was having problems and not one of us said anything.”

“Alcoholics hide the amount they drink.”

“Tony helped me; I owe him. He’s been my best friend when I had no one. I just didn’t know how far it had gone until he was out of Stark Industries and was living in that flop house.”

“People don’t say flop houses these days, just sayin’,” Bernie said to lighten the mood. She tapped on Steve’s hand that was threatening to crush the edge of the sink.

Steve sighed. “He’d been off the Avengers active roster for a few months. I was having problems with SHIELD and Sharon -- I know Fury from way back and he called himself my friend, but he doesn’t like sharing his secrets. I was angry with how SHIELD was doing business and Sharon and I were fighting over that. She got set up on that mission by rogue agents and got killed.”

Bernie said nothing as they washed and dried dishes.

“Tony had that accident with the fire and I rescued him. I saw for the first time how drunk he was. Jan put him up in a fancy hotel, no minibar, strict orders to the staff not to bring him alcohol.”

Steve put his hands on the counter again. “It didn’t matter -- Tony knew how to get what he wanted. I went to see Tony -- I was angry and he was angry. He ordered in dinner and pulled out his stash and he drank, and I let him -- I should have known but I -- I wasn’t myself -- I was angry with Fury and SHIELD and everyone -- we slept together and --” Steve threw up a hand. “We argued in the morning -- I walked out when I should have stayed and helped. He went into rehab a couple of weeks later and -- we’re trying to be friends again.”

It took everything in her not to gasp at Steve’s admission and ask him to repeat it. She knew if she reacted in any way that could be seen as negative, Steve would never, ever talk about this again. And they _needed_ to talk about this.

Steve’s admission was killing her. But Bernie gently caressed his arm. “Steve, you’re not blaming yourself for this? It’s Tony’s problem --”

He shook his head. “Tony was one of my best friends -- he’s -- I don’t want to lose him as a friend, and I already let him down when he needed friends.”

“Let’s finish up the dishes and go for a walk. Get some perspective.”

“Okay.”

By the time they finished up the dishes and got dressed for a walk, Steve had clammed up. He avoided Bernie’s careful questions about Tony, instead talking about television and wrestling.

Bernie returned to her apartment, frustrated and later unable to sleep. Steve slept like a rock, like he always did. But she lay awake, turning over and over in her mind that Steve had confessed that he had sex with Tony. That Steve refused to talk about it.

~~~~~

She couldn’t tell anyone Steve’s secret, even if it ate her up inside.

She’d known. There were signs -- Steve noticed guys, like he noticed women. He lingered over photos and movies, he talked about people in a way that had long ago suggested that he could be bisexual.

Steve had to be, just a little bit, based on what happened with Tony. Bernie didn’t care. She didn’t believe that anyone was completely straight. But it would be great if Steve could admit it to her. They could talk about it, accept it as part of their relationship and move on.

But Steve’s mind was a series of organized boxes. He’d put the sexuality questions into a box back in the early 30s and filed it away, never to be looked at again.

The idea filled her mind as she took inventory at the store or when she went to yoga class. She dug fingernails into her skin when she almost asked Steve what he thought about an actor while they watched a movie.

The more she tried to ignore the question, the more it tormented her. She woke up in a sweat at four in the morning, as her restless mind turned over and over what Steve and Tony’s relationship was. Or what it could be.

What if Steve was really in love with Tony but couldn’t admit it because he didn’t think he wasn’t straight? If he wasn’t straight, then he could be more with Tony than his best friend? He clearly had strong feelings for the man.

“Bernie, are you okay?” Steve asked. He sat up in bed and put his arm around her.

“What? Yeah, just jitters,” she lied. “Because, you know, everything.”

He rubbed her back. “My ma had a little trick for that. Come on, I’ll heat you up some milk.”

“Steve.”

“Yeah?”

She bit her tongue. “That sounds like what someone from the 20s would say.”

He flashed her a smile and got up. “That’s what I am.”

~~~~~

A week later and she had an opportunity to find out some answers.

Sam was sorting brochures in Steve’s living room when Bernie brought up the laundry. He’d gotten a job at a hospital over in the Bronx -- she forgot the name -- and had moved in with a second cousin. But he still had a key for when he was meeting up with Steve. “Hey there, Bernie.”

“Surprised to see you here so early on a Saturday,” she replied.

“I’m meeting Steve for a workout.”

“I don’t know where he is.”

“Breakfast with Tony,” Sam explained.

“Oh.”

“Knowing Tony, Steve’s going to need a second breakfast after the chicken feed restaurant.” Sam grinned. “Tony likes fancy trendy places.”

“Do you know Tony well?”

Sam rubbed his chin. “Not particularly. I don’t touch Steve’s Avengers stuff. I’ve got plenty going on without that. I’d only see him at parties.”

Bernie sat down to fold towels. “How about Sharon?”

“Huh. I’d known Sharon almost as long as I’ve known Steve. Great person, really dedicated to SHIELD, crack shot. Every time I read about a SHIELD mess-up, I think Sharon wouldn’t have let that happen if she was there.”

“Steve doesn’t talk about her much. I’ve asked about the photo over there on the bookshelf and he had to explain -- don’t know if he’d tell me if I hadn’t asked.”

“Her death hit him hard.” Sam carefully picked up the piles of brochures. “I’ve got support groups tomorrow.”

“He doesn’t talk much about his personal life.”

“That’s Steve for you -- you can take a guy out of the 40s and make him live in the 10s, doesn’t mean he’ll change. Personally, I think he’d be like that regardless of when he was born.”

“He talks about Tony.”

Sam tipped his head slightly, giving Bernie an appraising look. “Tony’s one of his oldest friends. Been through a lot together,” he said neutrally.

Bernie knew a warning sign when she saw it, but persisted. “Yeah, but he doesn’t talk about the other Avengers as much.”

“Nah, I don’t play with that -- Steve and Tony, they’re friends, that’s all I need to know. You talk to Steve about that.”

“That’s the point -- he won’t answer my questions about his relationship with Tony.”

“Yeah, well, that’s a Steve problem, right? You’re engaged to him, you got to talk to him about stuff.”

She picked up what Sam was laying down. “You’re smart.”

“I’ve learned to be. I’ve got my job and Steve’s got his. I’m his friend and I back him up.” Sam sat back into the couch. “HIs business is his business.”

Bernie forgot about the towels. “The Avengers --”

“Steve left because he wanted to find a life for himself outside the superhero life. He’s not doing too bad at that.” Sam pointedly looked around the apartment.

The apartment was furnished in mid-century style furniture, with bookcases filled with art and history books, art supplies piled up on shelves next to the drafting table. Warm and cozy and not a real hint of Steve was like, except for the pictures of Sharon, Sam and Bernie. If she didn’t know, she wouldn’t have been able to guess at Steve’s other life from the apartment.

Then there was the television set with the expensive sound system and all the bells and whistles. Courtesy of Tony Stark. Not a picture of him in the whole place but one of the biggest presences of all.

“He’s been going to the Mansion to work out and help train people,” Bernie said. “I don’t know if that’s really leaving it all behind.”

“Yeah, well, it makes sense. He always cared about that -- making sure people knew how to handle themselves in the field. I know a lot of people working the street now who’d tell you that they won’t learn a thing if they were an Avenger. But you can always tell when someone’s been on the Avengers. They’re sharper, more disciplined, better at the job. There’s a difference if you’ve been an Avenger -- Steve and Tony always ran a tight, well-oiled machine.”

“So Tony is like Steve’s business partner?”

“You’re going to make an excellent lawyer, Bernie.”

“Thanks -- but?”

“Tony is like Steve’s business partner, that’s one way of looking at it. You know, the Avengers would be glad to have Steve back on the team in a heartbeat. Lots of people would, like Fury at SHIELD. You watch the news and see them in action, and it’s just not the same without him.”

“Like that thing in December with the Negative Zone …”

“Yeah, that was vintage Cap and the Avengers. They asked if he’d come back to the team afterwards.”

Bernie took a double-take. Steve hadn’t told her _when_ he’d been asked. “They did?”

“Steve called me up and asked if I thought it was a good idea. I said that only he would know if it was right for him.”

“He didn’t.”

“He likes what he’s doing now and he’s got you.” Sam smiled fondly at her as he talked. “Says a lot about how he feels about you if he turned down the Avengers.”

“Huh.”

Sam’s phone buzzed. “Steve’s on his way. I’m going to get changed now.” He tucked his brochures into a bag at his feet. He stood up, holding his backpack. “As a friend, Bernie, I suggest that you talk to Steve. He’s not that complicated -- well, he’s complicated in one way, you know -- but it sounds like you have questions that only he can answer.”

“I’m going to risk one more question -- did Sharon ask you about Tony?”

“Honestly, Sharon didn’t care about that. Never even came up. Maybe you need to ask yourself why it matters.”

Sam stayed scarce after that, or he was only around when Steve was in the apartment. Steve dragged her out to a sports bar one night to meet up with Sam and a woman Sam had recently started dating. It should have felt great -- a couples date, decent basketball, good drink, great food. But Bernie was on tenterhooks for the whole night, weighing each of Steve’s words and analyzing everything he did. And Sam avoided her.

She had to talk to Steve.

~~~~~

“I got accepted to Empire State and Suffolk in Boston,” Bernie told Steve when she met him in Central Park, near the MET. Steve had left the shield and his workout clothes at the Mansion to be delivered later to his apartment.

She looked at the Avengers Mansion through the trees on the other side of the street. Steve had spent the day there on some training exercise with a selection of past and present Avengers. The mysterious Jan had arranged it. Tony had been in attendance as well, due to his position as the financial backer to the Avengers.

She knew about it because Steve told her, even if she had found out about Tony being there from the banter on one of the morning television shows. “Tony Stark was seen early this morning going to the Avengers Mansion.” “What do you think that means, Todd?” “Who knows, Angie, Iron Man was spotted too.”

They were going to get dinner with a few of Bernie’s friends from one of her glass-blowing classes and then the group was going to a gallery showing. Although they could probably do this in Madison as well. Chicago wasn’t that far of a drive.

“Good schools?”

“Good for me. I got outright rejected by Michigan, and waitlisted by Wisconsin. I’m supposed to hear from a few other schools soon.”

“Empire State’s not far from here. We could get an apartment closer to campus, so you wouldn’t have to commute. We could stop by the City Clerk’s office and get married.”

She kissed Steve, and leaned against him as they walked towards the restaurant. “We can figure all of that out once I get the school question settled.”

“I got a job today,” Steve said.

“Hey, I told you it would turn around.”

“It’s a fill-in issue for Marvel Comics, Captain America comic actually.”

Bernie laughed until Steve joined her. “I love you,” she said.

~~~~~

An ordinary Tuesday afternoon on an ordinary day during a cold spring. Bernie was working through resolving the store accounts and determining the taxes and all the other work involved in closing the business. She heard a ding as she scrutinized the last year’s taxes.

An email. From Wisconsin-Madison.

Her hand trembled as she clicked on the subject. “Congratulations, Bernadette Rosenthal on being accepted to the incoming class --”

She took a deep breath before shouting _yes_ to the ceiling and fist-pumping. She’d given up thinking she’d get off the waitlist. She had even called the school to confirm her email. Best moment of her life!

Steve returned from his errand and she launched herself at him. “You’ll never guess what happened this afternoon,” she teased.

“What? Landlord isn’t charging the store last month’s rent?”

“Ha. I wish.”

Steve kept his arm around her waist as he put the mail down on a side table. “What’s the good news?”

“I’m debating on whether or not to celebrate with a big night out or order a ton of our favorite pizza.”

“Whatever you’d like,” Steve agreed with a grin.

“Fine! PIzza it is!” She giddily placed the order and then grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator.

Steve had changed into jeans and shirt. “What’s the big news?”

“I got accepted to University of Wisconsin-Madison law school, you know, the place I got wait-listed. Got the email today.”

“That’s fantastic,” Steve said.

She danced around Steve. “The best news. I thought I’d have to go to Empire State but I’ve got options.” She gave him a kiss. “Although I think you’ll love Madison.”

“Madison. Huh. That’d be something.”

She rattled off everything that she was excited about with Madison. “It’s got the programs I like. It might have been better if I’d gotten into Michigan, but you know, I have to take what I can get.”

“You told me once that most law schools were the same, it only mattered where you wanted to practice.”

“I thought that once. I really did but it’s also the connections and the internships. And where I can get in.” She pulled out money for the pizza and waved it at Steve. “My treat!”

“What is Wisconsin going to do for you that Empire State won’t?”

“It’d be nice to be closer to my family -- there’s a professor that specializes in human rights law -- I love the idea of getting into that once I pass the bar -- the international law program could be stronger, but I wasn’t getting into the schools with better programs in that.”

Steve hadn’t moved from his spot in the living room. “Would that mean you would move to Madison? Or just go for the school year?”

Bernie snickered. “No, silly, we’ll have to move there. It’s professional school, and graduate school is a job.”

“Both of us? Move to Madison?”

She sobered up as she caught the feeling that Steve was not entirely on the same page. “We’re engaged, Steve. I can’t imagine that you’d stay here without me.”

“I don’t know about that,” Steve replied slowly.

“Wait --what?” she asked.

The intercom bell interrupted them. “I’ll take care of the pizza. You set the table,” she said, brushing past Steve.

Steve went to the kitchen while she paid for the pizza. He was sitting straight-backed at the table as she set the pizza down.

“Okay, let’s start over,” she suggested.

He took a slice from the top box of pizza. Not his favorite, but he watched her take her own slice and eat a few bites.

“I want to go to Wisconsin-Madison. I was expecting that we’d both move there. Maybe even get married before we move.”

“Huh.”

“That’s all you have to say?”

Steve ate some of his slice, then set it down. “Last we talked about this, you told me that you were applying to a lot of different schools. Then you said you’d only got accepted to Empire State. We didn’t talk about what would happen if you got accepted to Wisconsin.”

“Correction -- you didn’t ask me what would happen.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “That’s on me?”

“We’re in this together, Steve.” She flashed the ring at him. “I mean, it’s not like you ask me my opinions on your work with the Avengers.”

“I can’t see -- I can’t see moving to Wisconsin,” Steve said.

“Is it the job? You can freelance from anywhere with a good internet hook-up. You’ll be fine. We could get a bigger place than what we have here. Your own office -- shut the door and have all the peace that you need. Madison is a nice city. You could do the occasional Captain America thing from there too -- superheroes are from all over, aren’t they?”

“Bernie --” Steve started, his voice strained. Then he paused for a minute or two. She had another bite of pizza, but it had turned to cardboard in her mouth. Steve hadn’t touched his slice for a long time.

“It’s fine, we can reheat the pizza if we want a slice later.”

“I was born in New York -- I grew up here. I’ve lived most of my life here, except for when I was in Europe, and that was war. I don’t want to live elsewhere.”

She tried to be flip. “All you born New Yorkers say that until you discover cheap parking and short commutes.”

“I don’t worry about parking.”

“That’s right. Your life is a bit weird like that.”

Steve leaned back into his chair. “The freelancing. I’m not sure I could do that in Madison.”

“Internet.”

“It’s not that. It’s hard for me to get work. Not because of the superhero stuff. I’m not as good as the people I’m competing with. Either I need to spend more time improving my work, or do something to get more work. New York at least gives me the opportunity to do both.”

“Go to college then. You’ve talked about going back and getting a degree.”

“If I were going to do that, I would have enrolled in Empire State instead of trying all this.”

“Trying?”

“Trying to live a normal life, like you and other people. The freelancing, the apartment, all of it -- trying a civilian life.”

“Trying implies trying, not actually living.”

Steve got up from the table and paced around the kitchen.

Bernie shook back her hair, her excitement at being accepted to Wisconsin long burned away. “It’s about Captain America, right?”

“It’s not something I do on the weekends or just on Tuesdays and Thursdays.” He leaned against the kitchen counter. “Did you think the superhero thing was part-time?”

“Is it, Steve? I mean, you’re Captain America, but not every day.”

“I’m not going to give up being Captain America and move to Madison.”

“You can be both. Or is it that you don’t want to leave Tony behind?” The minute she did, Bernie knew she shouldn’t have said it.

Steve arched an eyebrow, then unfolded his arms. He closed up. “I’m going for a walk,” he said, his voice suddenly alien and strange to her.

Three hours later, Bernie was still in Steve’s apartment, sitting on the couch with a movie on the television and three-quarters of the way into a quart of ice cream. “Steve?”

Steve shut the door and sat down on the other end of the couch. “I’m not moving to Madison, Bernie. I love you, but I can’t leave New York right now.”

“I understand,” she replied, stumbling over the words. “People have long-distance relationships all the time. You know, internet.”

“We can do that.”

“Steve -- I wish you’d consider moving to Wisconsin.”

He didn’t answer, but turned to the television. “What’s on?”

“I have no idea.”

~~~~~

Once she made the decision, everything else in her life sorted itself out to make the move go faster.

Bernie sent her acceptance and deposit in to Madison. Then she started making plans for the move to Wisconsin. Steve listened to her when they shared a meal. “I’ve been thinking of what to do when we shut down the store next month,” she said as they ate sandwiches in a local park.

Steve nodded. “You said you were nearly out of stock.”

“I know, but I was thinking about a party or something. Just to mark a milestone. Want to come over and check it out?”

“I’ve got plans this afternoon,” he said.

“Dinner tonight?”

“Sure. Depends on how the training goes.”

He didn’t talk about his work with the Avengers anymore. It had just become an understanding between them that Steve spent a lot of his days and weeks over at the Avengers Mansion. Bernie had so many details to sort out, long-distance apartment hunting to do and a move to plan. She wasn’t seeing as much of Steve as she wanted to. She stayed overnight and spent enough time to notice that Steve was barely working on his art at all. He’d finished the Marvel work a while back.

Or maybe it was her imagination.

Then Taylor threw a wrench into her plans. She got a new job in Atlanta where her fiancé lived. They had been planning a huge wedding for next year. “An opportunity is an opportunity,” she explained to Bernie.

“We’ll have to find two people to take over our lease.”

“Time to break up the apartment, Bernie. Cut all ties. Mrs. Kappelbaum would be better off with a new set of tenants, and I don’t want to be suing someone I don’t know about the security deposit in a few years,” Taylor replied.

That meant that Bernie would have to move out of the apartment at the end of June, not July, as she had planned. She could have asked for another month. Mrs. Kappelbaum was the best and most reasonable landlord she’d ever had.

She had no more ties to New York -- no store, no job, no apartment and the promise of a new life in law school. No reason to stay past the end of June, except for Steve.

“This is the plan now,” she explained to him over a nice restaurant dinner. They had started eating out more, not eating in at Steve’s apartment like they had in the old days. “Summer and Chen are moving out as soon as they can find a place, Taylor is out the first week in June and I clean up after them.”

Steve said, “End of an era.”

“I’ll miss this,” she said, looking at the towering cityscape above them. “Are you sure you don’t want to visit Madison this weekend with me while I apartment hunt?”

“I’ve got a trip planned.”

She had overheard Steve talking to Tony about a hiking trip in Maine. They avoided talking about the Avengers or Tony or what Steve was doing with his spare time. Which he had a lot of apparently since he wasn’t talking with her about what he was doing at all anymore.

“I’ll show you pictures, and you can tell me which one you like.”

Then all of sudden, it was the end of June and Bernie was on the verge of pulling her hair out. The police were threatening to impound her rental truck. The people she’d hired to move her out failed to show.

Steve showed up though, with coffee.

“I can always count on you,” she said, taking a cup gratefully.

Then Sam arrived and he phoned a friend, who had a friend. Next thing she knew, she had a permit to leave the truck parked in front of the brownstone.

Then the mysterious Jan and her boyfriend Hank arrived to start moving Bernie’s boxes. Carol and her friend Jessica with the odd accent joined in on the fun. More friends of Steve’s arrived -- Bernie barely caught their names. But within an hour, all her stuff was packed away neatly and organized in the truck.

While the moving was going on, Bernie went up to Steve’s to get more tape. Steve was talking with Jan off to the side of the living room. She hesitated from barreling on in since it looked like a serious conversation.

“Are you in?” Jan asked. “I get it if you don’t want to but we sure could use the help.”

“I left for a reason,” Steve replied.

“Is that reason still there?”

“We can talk tomorrow.”

One final lunch with Steve in his apartment. She memorized each item, the couch, the art table, all of it once as familiar as her own life. But she felt the difference more than saw it. The art table was bare, art supplies packed up, two moving boxes in the corner of the kitchen.

“Still room in the truck if you want to ride shot-gun,” she offered.

“Tempting,” Steve admitted.

For a minute they both believed that. She gave Steve one last lingering kiss and then got into the truck.

When she reached De Pere, it was all over the news. The Wasp, Captain America and Iron Man were back on the Avengers.

“Good for you, Steve,” she said.

~~~~~

A year later and Bernie was back in New York for her first law internship at Lawyers Without Borders. She counted herself lucky for landing it. Granted, she had to couch surf for the summer among her friends in New York. But it was exhilarating. She wouldn’t trade her life for anything else.

She was meeting Steve for lunch in a fancy modern place, her choice. She’d been busy, then he’d been busy, until a single spot opened up on the calendar.

Bernie didn’t dwell on how once they’d made each other the priority. Technically, they had broken up last September when Bernie told Steve that they should take a break. They hadn’t talked for over a month by then. He never asked for the ring back.

The rule was, if Steve was twenty minutes late, he wasn’t coming.

But Steve was, surprisingly, on time. She saw him walk up to the hostess station. He looked good, cared for, loved. Happy.

God, he looked so happy.

Maybe this was a horrible idea. She still had time to disappear and text Steve that something had come up at work. Now he was at the table, with not just a few people looking at him. Steve had a secret superpower of appearing like someone people should know, but not being recognized. The Avengers had revealed their secret identities back in November, erasing his anonymity. She hadn’t paid much attention at the time, though she felt a little silly for not figuring out Tony Stark was Iron Man when she saw the news.

“Bernie,” he said with a smile.

“Steve, nice to see you.”

She had forgotten how great it could be to talk to Steve and how much she liked being his friend. “Law school is everything I though it would be,” she said, finishing up her news.

“Even the boring parts?” Steve asked.

“Even the boring parts. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” She laughed. “One year down, two to go, then the bar exam. How about you?”

“Avengers are good. Lots of work to do, I can’t complain.”

“Do you regret it?” she asked.

Steve gave her a half-smile. “Regret going back to the Avengers? Do you regret law school?”

“No, never. I wouldn’t change that decision for anything.”

“It was like going home,” he admitted. “The break away was good. But …”

“It was time.”

“Yes.”

“For both of us,” Bernie said.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“Are you kidding me? I’m too busy for anything now. If I’m not in class, I’m studying. I’m not getting enough sleep, I live on coffee. It’s the best time I’ve had in years. How about you?”

Steve hesitated and Bernie immediately knew what he was about to say and braced herself. “Um, uh, Tony and I have been dating for the past few months. We’re keeping it on the downlow for now, very private.”

“Good for you, Steve.”

She meant it. Steve had a peace in him she hadn’t seen when they were together. “To old friends,” she offered.

“To old friends,” Steve agreed.


End file.
